have you lost someone close to you?

When coping with a death, you may go through all kinds of emotions. You may be sad, worried, or scared. You might be shocked, unprepared, or confused. You might be feeling angry, cheated, relieved, guilty, exhausted, or just plain empty. Your emotions might be stronger or deeper than usual or mixed together in ways you've never experienced before. If you've lost someone in your immediate family, such as a parent, brother, or sister, you may feel cheated out of time you wanted to have with that person. It can also feel hard to express your own grief when other family members are grieving, too.

Maktok, if you are 'here' with me tonight and you can see me crying, i'm sorry... i just can't avoid this stupid feelings. i keep listening to the SEPI and i don't know....feels like screaming..yeah, im screaming....... i'm missing you maktok..... i'm sorry if it makes you sad ~~ seeing me like this... and the stupid picture just to remind myself how much im missing you at this moment... and the stupid me just can't stop crying now.. its not that im 'refusing' the faith.. but im human... i just can't help it.. sometimes i feel like - seeing you - BURIED - was fake - how i wish it was just a nightmare.... al-fatihah for you maktok.. Allah, please make her 'comfortable' ya?

Till Then,